Thought Pillows/ Denkpolster Installation. 2010 mixed media, dimension variable
Wine is pumped up into the black 'Thought Pillow' and then drips down into the words 'forsake me'''' (Verlass Mich). After 40 seconds the pump switches off and 5 seconds later the pump in the white 'Heart-sack' starts up, and pumps milk into the white pillow. The milk then slowly drips down into the words 'Heimkehr',(return home) before returning to the heart sack.
Reading the final chapter of the crucifiction I get a feeling, as Christ calls out “My God, why hast thou forsaken me?!“ of despair and isolation but actually I used the words Forsake me,- ie, it is present tense: in fact an imperitive! So I personally find these words are self- knowing; Ich fordere Mich selbst. Interesting to me is that christ's blood flows into the earth: that is, it is not a closed circuit. Way before christ, i could imagine that blood was not so tightly bound to the body in perception as it now is, and here in the thought pillows, it is open to observation, to reflection.
The use of the word 'Heimkehr' came from a poem of the same name by Paul Celan, which seemed so full of wistful envy, and yet painful melancholic comparison: to those dead, to their life derailed, stock wooden whispers, unheard, unseen in the endless blanket of white. The use of Milk was perhaps a 'kitsch-take' then, and so it was nice to see the milk in the pillow sour and yellow.